TTC... at your in-law's?

The Cosmic Conception Diaries: Part II

When we ended up at Alex’s parent’s house—exactly one year ago this month—I couldn’t believe what had become of my life. It was the exact opposite of everything I had ever wanted for myself.

“It feels suffocating just to be alive. I hate what has become of my life. We shuffle from one struggle to another and everything feels difficult. I used to describe my life as purely extraordinary, now it feels like nothing of the sort.”

-Diary entry from October 5th, 2022

I allowed myself to become deeply overwhelmed by the circumstances. Not only was I processing the trauma of being publicly humiliated and exiled from community by a “sister” I thought I could trust, I was still swirling through my own initiation into my dharma and an aligned expression of my life’s purpose—all while settling into the basement level of my in-laws’, whose devotion to government authority, allopathic medicine, and corporate propaganda is disturbing, to say the least.

Despite it all, I reaffirmed my commitment to a conscious conception and told Alex that I wanted to begin where most couples do—nourishment.

Of course, “nourishment” can only do so much when the rules of digestion are being broken on a daily basis and the emotional body is running its own program of anti-healing.

For the first few months in our new home, my mind was keeping tabs on everything within it that was going to kill me. The aluminum cooking pans, the caustic cleaning chemicals, the LED lights, the petrochemical soaps, the glyphosate-soaked foods, the smart meter—even the mere presence of a cabinet full of pharmaceutical drugs permeating the energy of the sacred kitchen with their horrible frequencies!

It felt like everything was out to get me. And I had no control over any of it.

I spent many months clutching the vibrations of my own complaints, persecutions, victimhood, and self-righteousness. Meanwhile, in my subconscious realms, an insidious story began to weave itself into my psyche: