Facing my healing.

The Cosmic Conception Diaries: Part VI

“I’ll talk about how I’m broke and under-fucked… but I don’t want to talk about this!” I shared in a recent podcast interview about my preconception journey.

After walking through all the previous chapters in The Cosmic Conception Diaries, somehow the part about my healing feels the most vulnerable of all. It’s the part that “outs” one of my deepest shadow aspects—and therefore the hardest to alchemize—fraud.

How can someone who works in the field of “women’s health” need healing? Will my audience stop trusting me? Will all my teachings look like a sham?

But you see, there’s this non-negotiable miracle to being human which involves the body’s innate drive to be in a constant state of healing. Being complete in my healing would mean in some ways, that I’m not human at all. So I choose to let it be and it is here that we enter the next chapter.

Which starts of course, with the healing itself. Not the healing that comes from what I do to my body, but the healing that is already occurring without me needing to do anything at all.

It’s the constellation of symptoms that for almost four years rearranged themselves in such a brilliant way so as to protect my body from all my choices from many years prior until now—which is typically how we find ourselves in the bodies that we do. There is no hormonal imbalance, autoimmune disease, thyroid condition, etc. that simply pops into one’s life by sheer accident. No, these “diseases” are simply adaptations to our chosen lifestyles, our mental frameworks, our emotional landscapes, and our spiritual bodies, as reflected in the cosmos above.

They are here, never to punish, only to serve. It it from this point of understanding that we can choose to enter into our healing with compassion and curiosity, rather than resistance and rage.

The model of waging war against the body until it buckles in submission to pills, powders, and scalpels is over. The era of multi-dimensional, quantum, vital aliveness is here.